I’m still standing! Or «my Senior Year at LUNN»

Stepan Barutkin
3 min readOct 3, 2022


Well, the previous year was full of events, but today’s post is about my last studying year at Linguistics university of Nizhny Novgorod and my plans for the future (if I have any at all)

Without further interruption, let’s proceed going deep into my world of uncertainty about the future🫠

it’s gonna be fun

or sad

🔮 Well, let’s say it plain and simple: I don’t know where I’ll be in one year, on the 3rd of October 2023 – I can only make assumptions on this account. Like there are a few possible outcomes for me (putting aside other catastrophic scenarios).

So, in October 2023 I could be:

1) getting my Master‘s degree in Russia;

2) getting my Master‘s degree in Germany (receiving DAAD scholarship);

3) being a volontier somewhere in Europe or anywhere else as a member of European Solidarity Corps;

4) serving in Russian military forces, as we have a compulsory 1-year military service in Russia;

5) having paid off the army and started working with incomplete higher education.

Whichever of these options I choose, there is one thing I know for sure – I need to finish my current studies and get a Bachelor’s degree (ok, for the 5th option it’s not necessary🙃)

Therefore, speaking about my last studying year (also called Senior Year) at LUNN, I would like to mention these 7 goals to be accomplished till the 10th of June:

  1. very simple but burning issue: stop being late everywhere – improve my time management ⏳
  2. to solve the source of the problem mentioned above: stop the f*** instantly checking everything at home from the gas stove till the door handle (have I really locked it this time?) – get rid of my OCD🥲
  3. another source of my frustration is the fact that I don’t know what I want in this life. I really mean it. I believe that once I‘ve become determined to achieve something, I could move mountains. The main point here is only to find a new sense in life…👁
  4. in order to find a new meaning of life I need to settle my internal conflicts at first (e.g. my feelings towards the breakup with Nadja, loss of parental authority, professional disillusionment, existential crisis, etc.) – rediscover myself. ❤️‍🩹💫☯️
  5. to find a way to pass exams without making a deal with my conscience – #nowar 🕊✌️
  6. to write a theses on completely new topic for me: “Socio-economic, military-political and environmental aspects of Russia’s activities in the Arctic regions” (I chose it because I got tired of “humanitarian” policy of Russian Federation and “soft power” in general #politicssucks👎
  7. the last but not the least – to decide on the possible future career for me: a diplomat?(definitely not), interpreter? mediator? external relations manager? polar explorer?…or maybe a forest ranger in a national park? – there is a lot of opportunities, but choosing was never my strong suit🫠

[BONUS] So, my very last step here in this list but the first that I’m going to do is to get a certificate in German language level C1. I have my exam in Goethe-institute in Moscow already next Friday, Oct. the 14th, and in these days all my attention is focused on preparing for this. First – certificate, then – application for the DAAD scholarship and after this we‘ll see how it goes😏🤞

At the end I want to post here a motivational quote from the series „BoJack Horseman“, that kind of inspired me to overcome all shit sandwiches that life gives me:

Sincerely yours,




Stepan Barutkin

just a guy who tries to live his life more or less consciously